A Syndicated Regime >>

Women are, for a variety of reasons, not as career-involved in politics in the same way men tend to be, as most politicians are men. We can attribute it to sexism, the challenge of raising children (which makes Governor Palin incapable), and a host of other issues in the private and public workplace.  Yet it stands to reason that with decades of underrepresentation, populations will form their own hierarchy, hegemony, themes, slogans, and ideas. American Colonists, lacking representation in British Parliament, stoked a revolution and nationhood. Fox News walked away with the bank by being the first to tap into the ignored half of America. Even blacks consider themselves a separate community in many circles. And with the advent of modern talk shows, many women, previously considered domesticated, now have a propitious opportunity to reconnect to current events and news. Notwithstanding the fresh crack at old ideas, what troubles me is the filter and lens through which this new channel is wrought.

Rep. Barbara Walters: “Hear ye, hear ye, 110^th Congress of the United States, November 11^th, 2008. The subject on the floor is the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act of 1996, Public Law No. 104-199, 110 Stat. 2419. Congress is now in session (gavel slams). I will first yield this session to the esteemed Congresswoman from the State of New York: Mr. Rosie O’Donnell.”

Rep. Rosie O’Donnell: “Thank you Madam Speaker, and to the millions of courageous holocaust survivors and descendants of slaves, whose plight is equivalent to mine, and to whom I share, with my lifestyle choices, a tantamount moral cause against race-based discrimination and for Civil Rights…”

I strongly ponder if the politicization of daytime talk shows originates from the top-down, or from the ground-up. I know where the opinion comes from! But the discussion of politics on these syndicated talk shows seems to derive from a groundswell of the popular passions of domestic women who are relatively inactive when it comes to current events. And this newfound (albeit cyclic) transfixation onto politics could be the cure to the hearth-and-home ennui suffered by every house frau that desires more engagement with the larger world.  Watching Oprah Winfrey and Barbara Walters cathartically debouch their sordid affairs and lament the male-based double standard toward infidelity reinforces a kinship, and a notion that these women—no matter how minutely—are like the rest of us.

Except for that dumb broad Sarah Palin. She’s not invited on. Yay for lopsided feminism!

Once this familiarity and shared Holy Spirit are disseminated, the slow and firm pull in the direction of current events and social action begins. And where it has already, I see little in the way of expert testimony, as in the case of other political square-off shows. All I see are studio audience-swayed waves of “meaning” and “feeling,” and whichever personality captures that the most with an applause that, I am assuming, speaks for all of us. As an example of this, I saw heaps of combativeness between Elizabeth and Rosie regarding the 9/11 conspiracy (surprise), yet I never heard an MIT physicist or contributor weigh in and dispel this quackery for what it unanimously has been ruled. Between these diametrically opposite ladies, emotion and estrogen sprayed the walls of the set while this debate raged, until finally Princess Leah strangled Jabba the Hut with the chain.

Rep. Rosie O’ Donnell: “…And so it is with heavy heart that I lament the death of Matthew Shepherd and hold all of Christianity, and it’s whacko cultist devotees,  accountable for this tragedy. After all, evangelicals are just as statistically dangerous to the world as radical Islamofascists. The worldwide UN numbers bear this out. What motivated this legislation was racist and homophobic propaganda and fear mongering, and it should be overturned as soon as possible! I now yield the balance of my time to my esteemed college from the State of Rhode Island.”

Rep. Elisabeth Hasselbeck: “Uh… um… I don’t really know what to say to all that… um… what are we talking about here? I thought maybe light morning banter...?”

In an age where online communities are forming, such as World of Warcraft, The Sims, Fantasy Football, and other simulations of would-be realities, the case could be made that the same alternate reality is coalescing for government, with its own delegates and deliberative bodies, executives, and courts of jeering audiences and FCC guidelines. For millions of women (and men as well) an unnoticed and sociologically profound event is birthing, complete with a make-believe reality and system of governance outside of the actual infrastructure, soaring into the Hollywood stratosphere of “opinion above politics” and delivering sweeping verdicts on policies before they reach public debate and execution. I welcome this transition, but hasten caution as to who holds the reigns.

As a result of this, politics were affected. Now despite Obama’s lack of credibility with female voters while going up against Hillary, he was able to bridge that gap with the help of the alternate government of daytime talk and Oprah’s endorsement, this according to a vote count by economists at the University of Maryland, College Park. They actually went so far as to say that Obama could not have won the nomination without the daytime endorsement! A recent CBS poll also concluded that this endorsement would also have an impact on our nation’s votes. Either way, this nascent government is populist, federalizes its power to local levels with syndication, is based on the personality of a few, demonizes dissent, stands as an appointed deliberative chamber, and pledges to no constitution; perfectly fascist if it existed below the stratosphere, and carried out what it endorsed.

“Hi, this is Fox News’ Carl Cameron posted outside a Congressional session discussing the costs of the Iraq War, Taxes, and Gay Marriage. In recent months, this Congress has been the most consistently-televised in our nation’s history, and as hotbutton issues were discussed in the past few weeks, America’s eyes have been fixed on this debate. Now leading the debate has been Congresswoman O’ Donnell, with her scorching and long-winded exhortations, while Conservative “lone rider” Elisabeth Hasselbeck counters in plaintive futility on what is expected to pass with landslide support. On a side note, Hasselbeck repeatedly averred that these proceedings were “never part of her original contract.” This cryptic utterance sparked speculation that she was referring to the old “Contract with America,” but our team cannot confirm that theory at this time.

Furthermore, the seating itself is somewhat lopsided with a Democratic majority, and most analysts predict a straight shot of passage on these legislations though the Congress and into the Oval Office where President Winfrey, after consulting Whitehouse Legal Counsel Star Jones, will undoubtedly sign them into law.

Back to you, Shep.” >>